Your physical healing
isn't the only thing to consider as you get ready to restart your sex life after childbirth
. There are psychological and emotional things at home that can throw a wrench in the works. Coincidentally, though, the take is slow theme carries through here, as well. (Don't you just love advice that advocates relaxing?)
First off, make sure you're getting some rest.
(Easier said than done when you have a new baby, we know!) Exhaustion is a major cause of lowered libido. Try to nap
when the baby is napping or get a friend or relative to babysit while you catch some z's
Take it slowly.
It may take some time for you to get your mojo back so have patience. You may find sex is a little uncomfortable (both physically and emotionally) at first. That said, experts say you have to have sex to want to have sex
, so know that once you get back in the saddle you may feel like going for a ride a little more often.
Off-load some of your responsibilities. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you're feeling overwhelmed by baby demands. Martyrs don't make very good lovers.
Consider dad's feelings, too. Even though he didn't actually squeeze a baby out of his body, dad's emotions can be reeling, too. It's totally normal for him to go through an emotional adjustment period after birth that can cool his jets a little, too
Remember that you're not just Mom and Dad, you were a couple first.
Romance starts outside the bedroom so try to make time for each other. Start to have a regular date night
. Even if you can't get away, spend a moment or two connecting every day. You may remember why you liked each other in the first place.
Finally, even if you're leaking breast milk, have bags the size of suitcases under your eyes and are still packing some baby weight
, remember that you're still one hot mama!