7 months pregnant and a troubled relationship

If he's not inlove...You can't really fix it. My friend was in the same situation- and my cousin- Not me personally but I have been close to it. If he's willing to have sex with other girls. and live with you (which is creepy that seems hes mooching off you for a place to stay?) Then he's not worth your time. Just because you have a baby inside you, doesn't mean your romance and your love goes out the door. You are handling it well because all of that love is and will be focused on your baby :)  My friend after a year of having her son, is not with her sons father but another man. hes sweet and they are engaged. Men don't look at you like you're a skank for having a kid. and you're not fat. you're pregnant. There is a different. If you had that bump with NOTHING in it then that would be fat LOL. So tell your stupid ex to shove it up his ass. That would throw me over the edge and make sure my brother had a "talk" with him. Best thing to do is go about it on your own :) and be happy. When you do stress it brings stress to the baby and can cause early induction. I am sorry you had to go through that. I've been close to it. Holding my friends and cousin finding out their bf's cheated. Just means they aren't Men and they sure as hell aren't a real father. Just another asshole who thought it may be cool in the beginning. I will keep you in my prayers.

Reading your post makes me think so much of myself because I am now 8 months pregnant and I haven't been with my baby's father since I found out I was pregnant at 7 weeks.  We had a horrible relationship and I had to get strong for my babygirl and now, I don't miss him, don't need him, we don't talk at all, and I'm doing better than I ever thoought I could.  You can make it without him if he's not going to be the man he should be.  My bo when I was with him never cheated, but he loved to flirt and secretly he was still in love with his first love who is also has a daughter for him.  When we broke up they got back together and he married her.  Surprisingly, it didn't hurt me as bad as I thought it would because I didn't love him.  Honestly he was just a summer fling I used to get over the man I really loved and I ended up getting pregnant from my fling. 

Now, I am single, staying with my mom until after the baby is born and I'm at peace with myself because I see that sometimes, a man can be your downfall instead of your strength.  Trust me.  My advice to you; don't let him keep hurting you.  I cried my tears too and I apologized to my baby too for getting into something I wasn't really wanting, but she is my gift and I don't regret her because words can't describe my love for her and I know when the time is right, God will send my a man to love me and be a father to her.  Her father was also very mean and cruel to me, which is another reason I left him.  Hang in there honey.  Things will get better.  Hope this helps you.

The one flag or concern I do see with him is that everything was fine until you got pregnant...Are you 100% positive he never cheated until you were pregnant? It might seem funny, but maybe you getting pregnant is what made him feel forced obviously, and his days of cheating are numbered and that could have pushed him to go out and cheat... I will say this though.... I came from what I would consider an all American family, mom stayed home and raised us, dad brought home the bacon etc, normal healthy quirky family.

With that said, my SO and I have one other child, and are expecting in the summer. We have our ups and downs, but my biggest concern is what my children perceive as healthy and normal. I would much rather my boys have just me as a single mom and not see fighting or dissonance between me and my spouse. I am BY NO MEANS afraid to walk away from him if he doesn't act like the father that my boys deserve, I sure as hell don't want my boys growing up thinking they can treat a woman poorly....

I guess what I'm getting at is, your daughter won't be stupid. If you guys are "civil" she will eventually figure out that you're not a "couple". She will eventually wonder why you pretended to love eachother, and why you faked your relationship, and will then question what else you faked or pretended or lied about, and her foundation that you tried to build will crumble. You would be doing a great disservice to your daughter by staying "civil" and pretending to be a couple. You also don't want your daughter thinking it's ok to be cheated on by guys, or thinking it's ok to be walked on.... If you guys are able to go to counseling or he's able to grow up, then great, but for your daughter's sake, don't be afraid to walk away and show her that you don't have to have a fake relationship to raise a family, you could do this yourself girl! Just my three cents, good luck!

I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. I hope he or she will be really helpful and that you guys can come to a resolution that you have peace with. I'm sorry you're dealing with so much drama while pregnant!

It's hard to live here yes but at the same time we are locked into a lease until August and we have our good days, I honestly can say the bad days out weigh the good right now and it never used to be this way. All I can do is take care of myself and my little one and keep my head up no matter how bad I just want to drop my head and never show my face again. Thanks I am gonna stay as strong as I can.

See he is 27 years old ad he never liked going out to bars or partying or any of that I would have to beg him to just come with. I have an apt with my therapist this week and I am going to say something about a couple's session. Thank you for all your advice. 

Ma2a_boi is right. Maybe you need to go see a relationship counselor to sort things out. I don't think he should back out now when your due date is right around the corner. It's a bad thing to have happen to you. I would sit down and have a serious talk to him about your relationship and this baby. Don't think that you NEED the Dad around just to be happy. Plenty of kids grow up without moms and dads, it's just whatever makes you happy is the right thing.

First of all, you say you've been together for 3.5yrs and everything was great. Then you got pregnant, everything was great for a while. Then he started talking to this girl and that's when things went wrong... Did he have a big heart to heart to her and tell her his inner feelings he has never shared with you? Or was she just a root while you were at home carrying his child? It sounds to me that up until a certain point in the pregnancy he loved you and the baby unconditionally BUT was suppressing some issues. Does he feel too young to have a family? Does he feel trapped by the pregnancy? Does he feel that he is going to miss out on things (social life, travel, freedom) if he chooses to settle down with you and the baby? All these thing's he really needs to sort out and discuss with you. If you can't do it on your own then I would definately recommend seeing a relationship counsellor. You sound like you don't want to let him go, not just so your baby can have a mum & dad, but because you love him. And if that's the case, every avenue is well worth going through before putting the relationship behind you. Good luck hun.

Hi, It's really not anyone's place on here to be able to make comments about your personal life, but in my opinion he's not trying very hard to be supportive. In the end you don't want to be around people that bring you down. You need to surround yourself with family and friends who love and support you. I think maybe you would benefit from talking to a professional to help sort out everything you are feeling.

Good luck hun. Take care!