Sister-in-Law Drama AGAIN...

Thanks everyone for the advice.  But it's really not as simple as just cutting her out of my life.  She is after all FAMILY.  If I cut her out then I would also be cutting out my brother and my adorable nephew and neice.  As much as she may irritate me, I also love her too.

I CAN'T change the date at this point either since my father and stepmother have already booked plane tickets to fly out here at that time.

We never officially worked out what happened with her comments on my upcoming marriage.  but she did eventually text me back about other family events and whatnot so I guess you can say we have a this point brushed it under the rug.  She doesn't really seem to care that she hurt my feelings and I don't want to give her any control over my life so I decided to just let it go.  I can't hold a grudge the way she does and that just isn't my style.

So, the baby shower will still be on, but I have put my foot down with the games.  I can't have a million of them and I can't have an all day shower.  So, whether or not she likes that doesn't matter and she isn't fighting me too much on it either.  Big relief!

My advice is to just wash your hands of her.

The thing is, you say she can be sweet... However the other things she does; her attitude, her view that when she offends someone they should just "get over it", and her blaming others for HER mistakes basically makes her a rotten person and makes the "sweetness" all an act to cover up a decayed heart. She is not a good person. So you owe her nothing, even if she is your SIL. 

It's not too late to change the shower. Change the date, change where it is. Have it where you want it and when you want it. Make it YOUR OWN. If you don't want games, don't have games. There were no games at any of my showers and people had fun just socializing and enjoying themselves. Maybe have a door prize or something. A shower isn't supposed to be an all-day affair and ten games would take up a buttload of time...not to mention, it IS kind of cheesy to give Dollar Store gifts. Maybe make up a few low-cost bath essentials baskets (body wash, lotion, etc) and have those as door prizes or prizes for 2 or 3 games that you're comfortable with.

Here's the thing: Usually, when kids can't play nice, they get kicked out of the sandbox. She can't play nice. You shouldn't have to make your friends and family go over to HER clubhouse and be uncomfortable. Do what makes you happy. This is YOUR baby. This is YOUR time. Let her know when the shower will be and then leave the ball in her court as to whether she goes or not.

As for holding a grudge? People who hold grudges like that aren't even worth your time to worry about them holding grudges. Honestly, no matter what you do...you could literally bend over and kiss her ass and tell her it smells as sweet as spring roses...and she'd eventually FIND something to be mad at you about and hold a grudge. I've had in-laws exactly like that. There is no pleasing them, they are always right, and nothing you do or say is ever good enough. You don't need toxic people surrounding you and your baby.

Just to vent and maybe make you feel better i have been with my hubby to be for 3 years now and i am 27 weeks pregnant and have had a horrible sister-in-law and it could have been the worst mother in law but she quit drinks so better now but my MIL tonight pulled crap she wanted to dry pot in the oven and i said no and she did it anyway then the whole place stank up and i was pissed she just pulled the oh its not that bad shit and i lost it. plus i have a sister in law that is a slut and is insecure to the point where one year over christmas time sat on her phone and left a wonderful message on the machine thinking i was pregnant than saying i slept with all the guys in the house and also that my baby woud turn out fucked up because my dad is fucked up etc. and was laughing like it was funny i still cant forgive now she wants to be around my son when i have him she can shove it. and she still says shit about me and hits on every guy that comes around. it drves me crazy and my MIL think oh we are so much alike and always thinks my SO is high cause he use to do drugs and she thinks she knows everything and touches my food when i cook and tells me how to cook and always thinks she is right so i am at my point where i feel like telling them all off and i think you need to talk to your bother and just let him know how you feel and she is he can mention to her what would be better. GOOD LUCK and i hope this makes you feel not so alone.

I totally agree with this. She does not sound liek a nice person at all. No metter how sweet you claim she can be. The fact that she doesnt respect you.. hence her saying get used it it people are gunna say things like that... That's rediculous. I really think you need to stand up for yourself!

Baby Shower Games:

1.  i personally think some of them are tacky.  i did like one that was played - it was name the baby animal - such as - chickens have chicks.

2.  if you don't want to play 1 game or 10 games - put your foot down, even if it is the day of the shower.  no one can make you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Food:

If you are not serving food, keep it short and stream lined.  i know i wouldn't want to sit around and play game after baby shower game without food.  even serving snacks/appitizers would be a nice break up of the all the game playing and present opening.  a baby shower shouldn't last more than 2-3 hours.

Family:

i think it is nice that she wants your father and her father to meet.  it is kind of sweet.  but, her having grudges and being rude to family members that you want to show up at the shower is not acceptable.  you need to tell her that she has to put her personal feelings aside and be a gracious host to those people.  let her know if she can't do that for one day, then the shower needs to be canceled.

New Reason To Dislike Her:

If she is not answering your calls, just leave a message and explain what you want.  even if it is saying, "Look.  I don't like you said.  I expressed my feelings, and you dismissed them. This is not the first time you have done this.  I am not comfortable with you planning the baby shower anymore because you insulted my pending marriage and refuse to listen to what i would like for my baby shower.  i will be contacting everyone that has been invited and be letting them know the change in venue and date."  then, leave it at that. 

it seems you have tried to talk to her about how you feel, but she is not listening.  you can't be wasting time with people that are not respecting you as a basic human.

i would show her this post ! lol seriously tell her shes a BEEE-OTCH and you dont want nothing to do with her ! she thinks she can control everything but you have to put her in her place because shes takin advantage of how nice you are being. goodluck ! and update us lol