It's Now or Never
Submitted by cedardryad
I'm really hating my partner right now. About a year ago, we agreed that we'd start to try to conceive this month. Well, come this month, I bring this up and he says, "I'm not ready." I blew up! It broke my heart. I've planned everything around the possibility of having this baby. I was originally planning to move before having a baby, but since the place we want to move is eight hours away from friends and family, I decided it was better to stay here. I was also looking into becoming a carpenter. But I knew I couldn't take that job while pregnant, so I didn't pursue it last year. I figured I could take the classes after my child was born. Now who knows how long that will be?!
This is pissing me off like you wouldn't believe. I hold people to their word. "I'm not ready." I hate hearing that excuse. That's the one he uses to hide the fact that he doesn't want to do it at all. He's just going to keep saying, "I'm not ready" and hope that I back off. He's the type of guy who, the more I bring something up, the less he wants to do it. So now I have to put my dream job aside until he says he's ready for another kid. This is making me angry!
He complains that I'm not good with our daughter so he doesn't want to have another kid. But what he's reacting to is me when I'm going through PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) and haven't taken my meds. He sees me stay away from her so I don't let loose on her. He doesn't take my situation into account.
I told him that I don't want to stay where we're living for more than another year, so he has that much time to decide whether he wants to have another child with me. He says he wants me to wait until I'm in my thirties. I told him once I hit 30, no more kids for me. I only want one more child, close in age to our daughter. Is that too much to ask?
I think we are in a decent place financially and I had everything planned out. We were going to move a year after the child was born. Save up all our money for a house and then be on our own, like we always wanted.
Every time we "discuss" this, it's me talking, crying and yelling. He doesn't say anything, ever. It's counterproductive. All he does is keep repeating, "I already told you my reasons." I'm a very loyal person, sometimes to a fault. I told him if we were ever to split up, I could never have a child with someone else. I would either have my tubes tied or get a hysterectomy. I don't even want to start dating again. I don't want our daughter having a step-dad. It's just how I am. Someone please help. I don't know what to do! This has resulted in a deep depression for me.