The Romance of Trying

Who knew that trying to have a baby could be so stressful? My first pregnancy was a wonderful accident that took us completely by surprise, so the idea of trying to conceive felt like a new, romantic adventure. When we first decided to try to have another baby, I envisioned romantic evenings spent over bottles of Pinot Noir. I pictured sexy lingerie and long back rubs, romantic whispers and building excitement.

And for a few days, it was fun! We hurried to put our son to bed and then spent the evenings together, eating romantic dinners and making out on the couch. We winked at each other during the day and even tried one morning before the baby woke up and my husband had to scurry off to work.

Just when I was beginning to enjoy the whole trying thing, I foolishly decided to check out an online fertility calculator. It started out simple enough: I plugged in the first day of my last period and it calculated my fertile days for the month. It claimed that I had a small chance of getting pregnant on January 3 and 4 and that my most fertile days were January 5 through 8. A quick glance at the calendar showed me that I only had only two more fertile days left in the month. We were facing a looming deadline! No more spontaneity. No more romance. We had to get crackin'!

Suddenly trying went from being fun and laid-back to a stressful race against the fertility clock. Although we ended up trying as often as possible during my most fertile days, I have to admit that I'm a little worn out. I've had enough—enough romance, enough lingerie. Enough sex!

Who knows, maybe next month I'll be up for more, but for now, I'll settle for Ben & Jerry's, flannel pajamas and Law & Order. Or better yet, maybe I'm pregnant and won't have to worry about that whole baby-making thing for a long time.