preschooler

this situation - I'd say about HALF of us have been there, slept with that! The same thing happened to us with our first (you know when you make all of your mistakes...with the next ones you know better!) and my husband and I took turns sleeping with her in her bed for a week so she got used to that bed and waking up and feeling safe in her room. Then we sat her down and created a great night time routine...whatever she wanted...1 book or 2, backscratch, warm milk...we gave her tons of choices so she really felt IN CONTROL. She picked, we explained that she was a big girl and could do it and we believed in her, etc... We did the routine she picked out and when it was time to go to bed, she cried a little, she even came out of her bed a few times...but we stayed nurturing and strong (you need to - give in and all that work is just undone!) Believe it or not, that night...SHE DID IT! On the first night! She slept in her own room all by herself. Of course she woke up early...at 5...and came in bed with us, but that was OK. We let her do that for a while...then she started just naturally sleeping longer (cause she was comfier in her own room) and then we made a rule that she couldn't come into our bed until 7....and she followed it. It's AMAZING what kids will do when they TRUST that YOU know what you're doing. The secret (and trick) is for the parents to stay strong! YOU CAN DO IT! Good luck!

explain that he is a big boy, and big boys sleep in their big boy beds, so from now on you need to sleep in your bed ok? You can offer to read him a story, and you MUST NOT do this UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO FOLLOW THROUGH 100%. If you do GIVE IN you are only reinforcing his knowing that all he has to do is scream and cry and protest and he will get his way. So....with that in mind.....you will simple put him in his bed, he will cry/complain/protest, and you will tell him "sweety/honey/darling/baby/jr. (whatever you call him), it's time to go night night". If he gets up (which we all know he will) you will say "it's time to go night night", and place him back in his bed, and walk out. Stay close, but not too close. When he walks out of his room, you will take him and put him back in his bed WITHOUT saying anything to him. You will do this for about 2 exhausting hours until he finally gets so beyond tired that he will comprehend that nothing he does will change your mind and that's where he needs to sleep. HE WILL SURRENDOR TO YOU, so you need to STICK TO THE PLAN. You will continue to bring him to his bed over and over and over again, until he stays there. He will scream bloody murder, he will make you feel like you are a horrible mom, but you will *say nothing, and continue to place him in his bed. You and your husband can alternate, one time he takes him, the next time you take him.
GOOD LUCK!!

sometimes just after we have gine to bed. I was wondering if this was a problem but we decided it doesn't bother us enough to stop it. We have read before that it can actually be good as it builds a closness. It depends of course how bothered you are by it on a personal level. For us it is not every night although it is most. He will grow out of it as at some point he'll realise his friends don't do it. It might work to get some older boy he is fond of to come by and say something about how nice his room is and how fun it is to sleep in your own bed. I find with my daughter also 4 that if she knows other kids are doing it she wants to also. Personaly i plan to let mine grow out of it at her own pace, but as i said she never goes to bed in our bed, but can come in whenever she likes... could saying that work??

... is not a problem. The kids will eventually want to be on their own. Those who don't want to co-sleeep start their children in cribs and move them up to beds. I don't think there are that many who change their minds in the middle.

... bite your child when an adult is not around. It has happened before if with the most calm and laid back dogs.

yourself ... She doesn't want to be with you when you're doing the boring housework. Maybe you could get her involved in a pre school type play group. The time away from you will help her realize that there are other sources of entertainment besides yourself, and give you a chance to reenergize.

i'm having a little lie down on the couch or i'm going to read something for a little while... mostly she is fine if i find her something to play alone, like playmobile or lego, but sometimes if she is not happy i give her pens and paper and sit her with me each doing our own thing... i sometimes say we are doing our homework and it becomes a game, but one i don't have to be 100% part of.

5 more minutes to ...(cook, pick up, get dressed, read a book, WHATEVER) set them up with something to do (draw, dolls, a car track, Whatever) set the kitchen timer for 5 min & do what you have to do. If you finish the task before the timer runs out, go to your child & tend to them, if you cant't finish what you are doing you need to stop your activity, attend to child for 5 min then set timer again. The key is that the child has to trust you will attend to then when the timer goes of NO MATTER WHAT! Make sure the task you need to do can be put down or done in 5 min or less. This works great on so many levels and for so many things like 'clean up' or 'time to get dressed', or 'out the door' works like a charm and doesn't take long for them to figure it out. Soon you can say mommy need 5 min without the timer So you can get away with a few more (but don't abuse it)

... I finally taught her that Mommy needs "privacy" in the bathroom, but all other times she's a little shadow. I'd like to get some answers to problem, too.

... less! I would maybe design a reward system (a sticker on a chart, for example) and then have a period (or two) during the day that is designated quiet time. I find it works with my 5yo to pull out several puzzles and books for him .. you can do that too, and let her know that until she hears the timer go off, she needs to take some quiet time on her own. She probably won't do it for the full time right away, but maybe you can build up to it. Good luck!

... around less than you are? Maybe that has something to do with it. Have you asked your son why he doesn't "like daddy?"

hard time." Makes me so sad. And daddy doesn't see it...when I tried to tell him he just said that I was putting all the blame on him and telling him what he was doing wrong.

... while daddy is gone and then your son can present it to him (as a way to start comunication). Or, get your son interested in something that daddy really enjoys and make it age appropriate for you son and get daddy to help with it (so he can show your son his knoweledge on the subject). This may help them both to find a common ground. I really hope this helps. I never had a good relationship with my parents and it makes me sad to see it happen in other families. Hang in there and you will eventually find something that works. Just don't give up!

... defensive, so maybe get him to ask your son what the problem is himself. Until he hears it he may not believe it. If he wont do it, you need to be firm if you can and just tell him the facts which are that all he is doing is pushing his son away, because as much as he is just trying to make him the best person he can he is actually just making a small child feel inadiquate. Maybe save the lessons for after they have had fun. My daughter has said the same thing to me, but its down to me being the treat giver and cuddler. I got my husband to start rewarding her more and cuddling her more often while i took a back seat and while she is still 'my baby' she has warmed up to daddy who is more approachable now. would that sort of thing work for you?

... completely shot down - he said it won't work. This baffles me since we always said that we would reward good behavior. Now he is saying that he doesn't want him to behave just because he is going to get a treat, he wants him to behave because he WANTS to. I think that is asking a bit much of a 3 1/2 year old. It is about rewarding the good behavior.

... it is generally only suspected that vaccines are the cause. It is also, unfortunately, a more dominant problem in males. I think your warning to other parents is warranted, given your circumstances, but we shouldn't frighten parents into not vaccinating their children. It is entirely up to the parents whether they vaccinate their children or not, it is also up to them the research the current vaccinations and draw there own conclusions. Like I said, your warning is completely valid, but it is ultimately up to the parents to decide.

all kinds of reasons for the development of Autism... to include not breastfeeding your baby for the first year, as formula is not complete nutrition. Fact is we have no clue. So sorry to hear you'll have these challenges, I have a friend with Apengers, he's a brilliant guy (read: Mensa), he has very few friends, & just can't get a date.

doll. Show your 1st how important it is to take care of that doll (i.e. if he/she is treating the doll badly, then remind them the proper way to handle it) and he/she will have something that makes them feel important after the new baby is born. You can change your babies together (bathe, feed, play, nap, etc...).

... baby loves s/he. If your oldest is still fairly young she will believe that the new baby believes these things and is able to pass the message through you----the oh so important mother.

... years old when the second one came along. Kids pick up on their parents' cues. If you're apprehensive and keep harping on how stressful and difficult this change will be, then your first kid will pick up on this. Do be sure to keep making one-on-one time for your first child though. And fill him or her with pride over being an big brother/sister now.