Reconnect with Your Spouse

Studies show that married couples today have less intimate time with each other than their grandparents did! It's no surprise, given the pace of life. You and your husband each need to take a step back, revisit your values and start to make your relationship a priority. Start by sitting down and figuring out the things that are taking time out of your day that you can give up. Don't sacrifice things like book groups or exercise if they're important to you, but do consider hiring a housecleaner or someone to clean the gutters if it means more time together.

Next, plan time together—after all, with your busy lives, it doesn't happen spontaneously. Some of that time should be doing things you enjoy (even if it's something he really hates, like going to the mall), and an equal amount of time should be spent on activities that he enjoys. Each of you should commit to finding something enjoyable in the experience. Even if you agree to go to the monster truck exhibition with him, don't say how stupid you think it is; instead, comment on how nice it is to see him enjoy himself so much!

Finally, studies show that strong friendships don't necessarily stoke the fires of passion; sometimes you need good old-fashioned turn-ons like a negligée, a room full of candles or an erotic massage with scented oils. You and your man lit each other's fire when you first met; you can do it again. One great way to start is to get rid of the television in the bedroom. After a few months of that, you'll be writing to ask me how you can disentangle yourselves!