Rude Pregnancy Comments Put Me at a Loss for Words

I can't respond when people make obnoxious comments about my pregnancy.

Thanks to Jen Magnuson

I marvel at the boldness of strangers when it comes to pregnant women. They offer unsolicited opinions, ask rude personal questions and make thoughtless comments, such as:

"You're only six months pregnant?! You'd better slow down, honey, or you'll give birth to a ten-pounder!" (Ah, yes, because any comment sweetened by the word "honey" goes down like a tonic prepared by Mary Poppins herself.)

When I'm out with my three kids while pregnant with my fourth, it stuns me when someone asks if all of my children have the same father. Or if my husband and I are done yet. Or if it they were all planned.

But the worst part about this is my inability to cope with these people who feel they have a right to comment on my very being. A good, sharp retort escapes me in the moment, and I can't seem to do anything but smile politely and mumble a response to whatever rude comment they've made while I herd my kids (and myself) out the door. And then I spend the rest of the day coming up with brilliant responses, most of which will probably never pass my lips.

Comments

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myDJRIII Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 10/16/2009 - 10:42AM Report Abuse	I get so frustrated because my doctor gets mad at me for having gained too much weight. I started out at 135 and am now at 181 and i'm 31 weeks along. I have gained a lot but if you look at me its all boobs and belly! Plus right before i got pregnant i had lost a ton of weight so 135 wasn't my usual weight, 145 to 150 was. And then out in public when people ask how far a long i am and i say 7 and half months and they look at me in shock, they say i look too small to be that far along... WHAT THE EFF?! well my doctor says i'm gaining too much weight... so what am i supposed to do?? I've tried watchin what i ate and i still gained the same amount. So now i'm at the point to where i just don't care. But i get so mad at my doctor because all he cares about is my weight gain. Nothing else. I try talking to him about some other problems i'm having and he just goes straight to weight gain. grrrahhh.. ANd i wish i could get more attention my boyfriend is the worst. He's the one i want special attention from and he just doesnt get it. He doesn't understand how tired i am and is more worried about how he sleeps than how i slept. Like this morning i woke up at 5 snuck out of the room so i wouldnt wake him. but then i went back to lay down and take a nap at 7 and he woke up at 9. He's stomping around turning the lights on and starts playing a video game.... Thanks. Thanks a lot. Sorry about my rant. haha.
MissSelah Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 8/19/2009 - 2:25PM Report Abuse	I found out I was pregnant 6 weeks in, and I told one of my oldest "friends" (although with her, the term is relative). She was like. "Wow! I noticed you gained alot of weight recently, but I didn't want to say anything!" I had actually lost ten pounds and dropped a pant size in the previous weeks. I mean, I weigh 180lb, but I I am a size 9 pants and a size 3 shirt. It's not like I'm big. I just have surprisingly heavy hips and very well muscled features. Anyway, I was vindicated a few weeks later when she was admitted to the hospital for malnutrition. Seems she hadn't eaten in six days, stupid girl. I guess everything looks big to a size 0.
WeeHels Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 8/15/2009 - 2:32PM Report Abuse	I think the best revenge for such ignorant strangers is to simply say "im not pregnant" see hwta their reaction is then lol
Momchicks Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 8/5/2009 - 10:47AM Report Abuse	When I was pregnant with my 2 year old back in 2007, I was about 7 months pregnant at the time and the cleaning lady at my office building (who was from Bosnia) asked me one day as I was leaving for the day what I was having (a boy or girl?) I said a baby girl and as dead pan as a response could get she responded with, "yeah, I hate girls." I was momentarily in shock and then hid all my personal items on my desk after that. I am now pregnany (9 months) with a boy and my husband and I have 5 kids (we each have 2 from a previous marriage and 1 together) and I get asked all the time if they are all mine and if I am done yet. Every time I say yes they are all mine and I would have more if I could afford it!!! People can really be such jerks but being pregnant our emotions are heightened that I have snapped on a few people. Crystal, STL - 9 months PG
jewelxkitty Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 7/29/2009 - 6:18PM Report Abuse	I'm 36 weeks and i'm tired of hearing how small i am, yes i know but i just got an ultrasound yestrday and he's small so I really dont like hearing it. I'm 16 so I knew I wasn't going to get HUGE (or if I did I would've been happy because I wanted to get huge) Now in my 9th month I am pretty big, but most people think i'm only about 7 months, not 9 so... yeah. (i am getting bigger everyday though - literally)
lizabit06 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 7/29/2009 - 5:25PM Report Abuse	I'm in my last 3wks and I cant seem to go ANYWHERE without the typical.."wow you look like you're about to burst...are you having twins(that ones came from men only so far..ironic)....you're huge...you look like you're about to go any minute...woow how much longer do you have?I dont think you're going to make it" I mean I was fine with it at first, but hearing it EVERYWHERE I go especially every isle in walmart gets irritating.. now I dont even entertain it.. I just roll my eyes and keep walking..its not even worth a comment or smart remark back truthfully...people are people you're always going to hear something stupid from SOMEONE...and i think of it as attention... I'm the main attraction at wal-mart...after the baby I'll just blend in with the rest of society...crazy huh!?!
Random_1 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 7/25/2009 - 8:47PM Report Abuse	A good rule for everyone to follow is to never assume a woman is pregnant until you can actually see the baby emerging. I heard that on TV somewhere... for some reason I want to say Dave Letterman or Conan O'Brien or something years ago...
FaithfulMaryam Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 7/23/2009 - 11:52AM Report Abuse	And you know what's even worse? When your partner forgets all about your size and parks the car close to the wall,so that you can bearly get out of it. It makes me sooooooooooo angry! Or when in a narrow hallway someone wants to pass you and seems to be blind and squeezes you in between!!! In those moments I just want to ... Just another pregnant woman can really understand you, thats when you share smiles and feel absolutely happy.
efaub Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 7/21/2009 - 9:02PM Report Abuse	Yes! I always have a great comeback after the fact. I get very annoyed by any comment on my size, whether it be that I am large or small. My belly has consistently measured pretty small, so I get those comments a lot, which adds to my anxiety about the baby not growing. Basically strangers should keep their mouths shut. The only thing you should say to a pregnant woman is that they look so cute.
juliannepigeon Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 6/28/2009 - 6:31PM Report Abuse	I think people just forget how large pregnant women really get. If you were to line up a woman pregnant with twins next to a single pregnancy at the same amount of weeks, then people would understand their misinterpretation. I agree it's a bunch of rude bee ess, I get it all the time ("You sure you're not about to give birth on my store floor?"; "You look like you're going to burst!"; "You're SURE it's not twins?"), but most people simply don't understand how hard we take it. Even my partner can be insensitive "It's like Alien! You're going to have a creature scratch its way out of your uterus!". They're all um...well-intentioned.
tropicofmom Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/20/2009 - 12:06PM Report Abuse	Interesting idea! I've heard hypnosis can work too.
Dsmommy Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/20/2009 - 8:35AM Report Abuse	my favorite is the people who don't have kids dishing out what you can and can't do during pregnancy. Or people touch my stomach like it's public property. I worked at a hospital and everyone would reach out and rub my belly. My solution I went in to patients rooms with things to hand them. If you shove something into each hand they can't touch you!
mellkennedy Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/13/2009 - 2:47PM Report Abuse	Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that people, especially my family thinks that I can't drive, go shopping, or even function normally just because I'm pregnant! At first I liked the extra TLC but now it's getting a little silly. Of course I can drive...I dont have a disability I'm just pregnant!
mellkennedy Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/13/2009 - 2:41PM Report Abuse	I have a 12 year old son, and am 26 days away from my second baby. I can't tell you how many people have assumed that they have different fathers just because of the age difference in kids. "Nope still married to the same guy, just got really drunk in New Orleans....and SURPRISE!" They look at me like I'm trash but I don't care! Another constant comment is how big my belly is. I have to say that yes I was a bit overweight when I got pregnant, but thanks to all the morning sickness I actually lost 15 pounds in the first four months! I am ALL BELLY now, and have gained only 18 pounds so far. So when people ask me if I'm having twins, I just say "nope I just have big babies" My first son was 8 lbs :)
JessicaM Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/7/2009 - 10:11AM Report Abuse	I do the same thing and they are usually witty sharp remarks!!!! i think all day "OH YEAH WELL YOU...." Yesterday my mother in law had the nerve to call me fat. Im only 3 months and shes fatter than me. It took every bit of me not to say " well your looking more bald these days" i think if they hit a nerve you should hit one back. LOL. even if your kids were all adopted you guys are a family. Next time keep the phrase "i have no idea who their father all , I got them from sperm donors" on the tip of your tounge! when touchy subjects are placed ( especially with in laws) they shut up quick. once my best friend was approached by a stranger , a man, He said" how far along are you?" she quinidently had her head shaved (from a trgic shinhead incident) and was wearing a bandana. she pulled it off and said " iM not pregnant i have cancer in my stomach" the man raced away. i to this day cannot beive she did that...but seriously you really shouldnt apprach a pregnant woman with stuff thats none of your business
tenillesmith Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/6/2009 - 2:58PM Report Abuse	I find it sorta funny when people say I am much too small for 36 weeks. My sister-in-law gained 50 with her kid & she admits she was HUGE & had 3 chins...Me, I have gained 45 with 4 weeks to go & it's all in the tummy. People ? me that I really know how far along I am or if I made up the date so my husband wouldn't wonder about the baby being his!!! Some people's nerve!!!
Crazykids55 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 4/26/2009 - 2:50PM Report Abuse	I Told them to shut up and that they don't put up w/ the Extra 20+ lbs and when they did they could say something then. It shut every single one of them up.
covenmother Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 4/20/2009 - 8:36PM Report Abuse	Are you a fan of deathnote ?? (Your Avi is L )
DevaD Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 4/20/2009 - 12:58PM Report Abuse	This keeps happening to me. I'm 33 weeks now and people keep saying "you look full term!" I finally lost it on a stranger the other day and said, "Listen, that's not a nice thing to say to a pregnant woman." That shut her up!
itoshii_na_koi Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 4/10/2009 - 7:02AM Report Abuse	My partners best friend made the comment when I was 6-7 months that I was starting to show...and asked how much weight Id gained so I retorted with not too much yet have I caught up with your belly lets check. Yeah he has a gut...his was still bigger than mine...He hasnt been to the house since. Last night while changing into my pjs my partner commented 'are you sure we arent having twins?' I replied with you better hope not or you are staying home and Im going back to work...Im into the 9th month and it wasnt until month 6 that you could tell I was pregnant. I went from having a little belly to a ball and now a beach ball. I feel great & I know when he said it he didnt mean it in anyway rude. He actually came over and cuddled with my belly after that. I would agree MOST ppl are trying to make a connection with you, they are fascinated by the whole living being growing in you that they don't think about your emotional state. AS far as that comments about are they all from the same father, I dont know if you can in anyway justify that. What do you respond, a: Yes, Im certain my husband and I have been married for x years. b: Yes, I was considering loaning him out for his services are you interested? c: Yes, My husband & I are trying to make a basketball team. d: Or just smile and say "Now why would you ever ask a thing like that?" Whatever anyone says don't take it to heart, they don't have wonderful mothers like us to teach them manners.