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39

Giving Birth at Home

People think I'm crazy because I had my child at home.

Thanks to Maribeth Kavajian

Why is it that when a woman in this country announces that she wants to have her baby at home, she is greeted with horrified stares and talk of cults? Throughout the ages, plenty of people have come into this world without the benefit of a hospital … and I'm not talking about the Dark Ages, either.

Today many hospitals have their own birth horror stories: women being handed the wrong baby, misplacing babies, babies being given incorrect doses of medicine, women not being able to bond with their babies because they were whisked away to incubators, etc. Obviously, a home birth carries its own risks, but unless the pregnancy is high-risk, I don't think there is any reason not to do a home birth if that's what the mama wants.

Concerns expressed by my friends were often frankly put:

"I saw a home water birth on A Baby Story and she looked fat." (If you give birth in a hospital, suddenly you look like Elle McPherson?)
"What happens if there are complications?" (An ambulance, naturally.)
"Will they sew you up after the episiotomy?" (In truth, I was asked if I'd be left "flapping in the breeze.")
"What happens if you die?" (Consult your local cleric. People don't ever die in hospitals, right?)
"Won't it be messy?" (???)
"What if it hurts?" (Doesn't it always? I hear about pain-free births, but I hear about unicorns, too.)

With questions like these, is it any wonder that there are home birth support groups?

My uncle was one of 14 born at home, and he was not a member of some weird cult. I can't say my home birth went smoothly, but I don't think that being at a hospital would have changed my complications. My water broke early (my midwife gave me the option of waiting to see what happened; apparently placental waters can replenish themselves, something no doctor ever told me), and they found out after the baby was born that my placenta wasn't going to come out without them "going in after it" (which is apparently common … but I won't go into detail except to say "ouch").

But the great things about home birth are:

You know it's your baby.
Barring complications, you get to be with your baby the whole time.
Your support crowd is there with you at all times and generally not distracted.
You can have as many or as few people there as you want.
You can ask for drugs and they will take you to a hospital.
You get to be home.


I think home birth should be promoted more widely as an option. The one ob-gyn I saw about my baby had a waiting room so packed there were pregnant women standing. He didn't know my name or my due date, and he couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. My midwife was helpful, supportive, fantastic and informative, and I was her only patient. No running down the hall to see patients 2 through 4.

My biggest supporter? My friend who was born in her mom's car in the parking lot of a hospital. She was number three, and her mom was a nurse and should have known better. She felt her mom would have been better off staying home.

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Gem85
Gem85
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10/16/2009 - 7:15AM
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First time round there was no way I'd of considered delving into the unknown without the reassurance of having every bit of medical knowledge and equipment around me and I think this was a wise decision as my first was not straightforward and required instrumental intervention and monitoring. However this was amazingly accomplished without the aid of anything other than gas and air through the second stage. Second time around I had still planned on a hospital delivery though this time with the aid of an epidural. However, he was in a bit of a hurry and the whole thing was over within a couple of hours, needless to say there was no time for any pain relief as I was pushed through the doors at 5 to and he was born by 10 past. I'm now expecting number three and face a slight dilema. Of course it is reassuring to have everything you could possibly need at the hospital but after my last experience if this one is similiar there really is little point in going. I wasn't relaxed as I was rushed there, no time for pain relief and very little time to relax afterwards as the delivery rooms were so busy. I didn't even get chance to wash my hair before making the return journey home, I felt discusting and couldn't wait to climb into my own bed. Having 2 births to reflect on now I think I'm going to equip myself for a home birth with a bag packed just incase I have a change of heart. You never know how you're going to feel untill it starts. If it appears to progress quickly as with number two then I'm staying firmly in the comfort of my own home but if that's not the case and there appears to be plenty of time then I'll make my way to hospital. If you have no specfic idea of exactly what YOU want and just concentrate on delivering your baby as safely and as efficiently as possible then you can't be dissapointed. I have plenty of friends who planned water births etc and they didn't go to plan and they were left feeling dissapointed. You have to go with whatever's right for you and your baby at the time.
naturalmama
naturalmama
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10/9/2009 - 12:37PM
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The rates of mortality for babies is lower in planed home births with a midwife and for mother it's the same in the hospital or at home.  I am an L&D RN.  I had my first baby in the hospital and am planning a home birth with this one.
Deej23
Deej23
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9/1/2009 - 7:48AM
Report Abuse 		I had my son at home and I got the "YOUR DOING WHAT" comments but it was really nice. There was no dash to the hospital, no sending hubby away after. I had my son and the midwife left use all to have a sleep and a snuggle for an hour. Then brought us tea and toast checked us and left us. She left her number and said any problems just ring. We were in our own home together no dashing back and forth for things and we all got to stay together, calm and relaxing :-)
Carinaa
Carinaa
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9/1/2009 - 7:41AM
Report Abuse 		I'm sort of forced to give birth at home. In Holland, its what basically every woman does, unless there are complications, or you're having more than one. But, to be honest, I dont mind doing it at home, I think it could be more comfortable. But, I'm a little confused as to how it will go, since it is my first pregnancy and all, let alone, in a different country. I'm originally from the U.S.
astral_illusion
astral_illusion
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8/28/2009 - 6:48PM
Report Abuse 		I'm going to have a homebirth for my upcoming first. Women having been doing it for centuries and I believe that it is a very natural process of life. There are a lot of pros such as being in a comfortable atmosphere(candles, music, warm bath), having more personalized care, no taking your baby away, and you and your baby are completely alert and aware of such a beautiful life changing experience. Of course I have fears of the amount of pain, but hey, after all women's bodies are MADE to carry and birth babies. Thats our primary purpose!
rainefire
rainefire
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8/27/2009 - 3:25AM
Report Abuse 		i would soo love it, my comfort zone, but like my stubbornness w/pushing w/my 1st ,id need the whole ER here
nonamesleft
nonamesleft
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8/19/2009 - 5:13AM
Report Abuse 		I was meant to have my first child (this is my thrid) at home, but due to complications I had to be taken to hospital. I was very upset (I HATE hospitals) and I think that was more traumatising than the labour pain! With my second child I went straight to hospital to avoid disappointment, and luckily I did as he was born clinically dead and was rushed off as soon as he was out. Luckily he survived and I now have a healthy little 6 year old :) But if we had been at home we would've lost him. With this one we're at the "best" hospital with one of the "top" gynaes in the country. But like it was already said - opinions change due to personal experience. I am currently very happy with both the doc and the hospital, but if I wasn't so scared of more complications I would DEFINITELY be having this one at home!! Sjoe that was a long paragraph ;)
brittanyh1804
brittanyh1804
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7/29/2009 - 1:30PM
Report Abuse 		The part that made me laugh was the "I knew it was my baby".... versus an alien?? lol I know the baby could be switched at birth, i dont see how (now-a-days) because as soon as my son was out, there was a nurse standing there with his hospital bracelet putting it on. I'm assuming every hospital has the same protocall. To each their own though, I'm not cracking on you because you want a natural birth because i know you heal aloooooooot faster than when accompanied by drugs i just think you shouldnt look down on other women for prefering the safety net of having a hospital there in case something happens.
Decobaby
Decobaby
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7/29/2009 - 1:19PM
Report Abuse 		lbmg, maybe you don't realize what our maternal mortality rate is now? It's still extremely high. It's actually the highest of developed nations (Way to go US!) And also you must not know the maternal & neonatal mortality rates with homebirth... They're very low. As far as someone vastly more educated.. What do you think Midwifes are? hippies that know nothing? Hospitals are for emergencys. Birth/labor is not a sickness, disease or emergency. (In healthy, normal, low-risk pregnancys.)
lbmh
lbmh
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7/16/2009 - 4:14PM
Report Abuse 		While it is true that babies have been born for centuries without hospitals, it is also true that the neonatal and maternal mortality rates were extremely high. In short, babies and mothers died all the time prior to extreme medical advancements made during the last century. And the argument of switched babies is absolutely ridiculous, hardly a reason to risk your and your babies health. Most hospitals allow for complete rooming in, with the infant transition period occurring with the mother, unless something is wrong, in which case wouldn't you want someone with vastly more education than you taking care of the infant anyway? The main objective of birth should be to produce a safe healthy baby, which is obviously much more likely at the hospital, or you wouldn't need the ambulance backup.
dodd_09
dodd_09
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7/15/2009 - 6:15PM
Report Abuse 		I had one of my boys at home for me it was a horrible experience. But me haveing him at home was not planned. Im sure it would have been better if it was planned and the proper people were there. My son was a month early, luckily everything was ok with him. But the hole call an ambulance thing doesnt always work. It took the ambulance awhile to get to my home (I don't live near town) if there would have been compications we would have been in trouble. The ambulance didnt get there until after he was born. I am pregnant again I am 22 weeks and my plan with this one is starting a month before he is due. any pain I have Im going to the hospital even if I have to sit in the lobby or parking lot until I know for sure. I dont plan on haveing this baby boy at home.
Random_1
Random_1
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7/8/2009 - 1:24AM
Report Abuse 		I'm planning a home birth this time around and my husband is all for it. We start looking for a midwife tomorrow! (We found out we're expecting two days ago, but we knew before then.)
princessjster
princessjster
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7/6/2009 - 11:03AM
Report Abuse 		I think homebirth is a great thing! I'm not one to try it, but I've seen so many people around here that have done it and said it was a great experience. My first child had complications and had to be born in a hospital, so they've all come that way and our hospital is great they give you plenty of time after the birth to bond with baby and while mom is wheeled to her recovery room baby is given his/her first bath and then taken directly to mom and the best part is that dad gets to give the bath and wheel baby to moms room. Plus they don't like having the baby in the nursery it's there as an option if needed, but otherwise they suggest keeping baby in your room the whole time, which we do, plus no unwanted visitors! I love that best I think. I applaud all those who do home births, I'm not brave enough plus I think my husband would faint, he has a hard enough time at the hospital!
AMANDAMARTEL
AMANDAMARTEL
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6/17/2009 - 1:45PM
Report Abuse 		My husband and I have just decided on a home birth for our first son due in October. I can honestly say that I have never felt more sure of any decision I have made in my life. I can't wait to meet my son and can't wait to share the experience of home birth with family and friends. Good luck to all!
Kaimon
Kaimon
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4/10/2009 - 10:09AM
Report Abuse 		Home Birth isn't for me... the "ambulance naturally" response is why. I would much rather have help 20 seconds down the hall, then have to wait 10 min for the ambulance and another 10 min to get to the hospital. But that's me. I had a hospital birth. I think it's a bit different in Canada too. My baby did not have to be out of sight of either me or my husband at all if we didn't want. She was with me and in my room. The nursery was there as an option if hubby wasn't around and I wanted to shower. I think like everything it takes research. You can't lump all hospitals/Drs together and assume they're all bad. I'm not against homebirth - if it's for you, go for it. I'm just saying that there are sterotypes that go both ways.
ShaDucky
ShaDucky
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3/25/2009 - 5:18PM
Report Abuse 		I would like to have a home birth, all four of my brothers were born at home, me and my sis weren't though. I can't think of any other way I would like to do this. I hope it works out for all our homebirthing mommies. Oh and my mom who has had both, said at home hurt less, your allowed to move around and your comfortable in your own environment. Good luck!
justv
justv
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1/25/2009 - 4:28PM
Report Abuse 		I love the idea and when I was pregnant with my daughter I had decided to have her at home. On the day I went into labor I did all my laboring at home but close to the end my husband started to panic and raced me to the hospital. A few minute after we walked in my daughter was born. Sadly, the doctor on call was horrible and put me in more physical pain and discomfort than the actual labor. To this day I wish I would have just followed my gut and stayed home to deliver her. Next time Im having my baby at home :o)
maryf
maryf
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1/10/2009 - 10:44PM
Report Abuse 		i think more and more people are taking home birth seriously these days. i have friends who did it and noone ever questioned or criticized. I'm not a fan of the hospital establishment - many of their decisons revolve around avoiding liability.
Jwells
Jwells
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12/17/2008 - 6:15PM
Report Abuse 		I am one of 5 born at home in the past 27 years...I made it through as did all 4 of my other siblings. So let people know none hospital births are actually so popular that statistically 80% of babies are born with midwives in the world. I had my daughter at a non hospital associated birthing center and it was great! You get to have so much more support rather than a "rush it visit", Doc has another appointment or vacation to be at. Not that all hospital births are negative, but the girls who are uninformed need to do a little more research before opening their mouth with "how it goes down" or with another horror story that they "heard". My husband actually was not in favor of non hospital birth, he was addimant about it. But then after some Q&A with the midwife and staff, he felt fine. After it was all said and done he wouldn't have it any other way. Hows that for encouragment? I say ROCK ON SISTER!!! You can do it! If there is no reason healthwise that you need to be in the hospital, go for it! A womans body is made to do this...funny. Oh and one thing that is awesome info, the uterus is thee strongest muscle, period. No steroided anyone can measure up to the uterus strength. Look into it, or ask about it!
pastelsummer
pastelsummer
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11/28/2008 - 7:46PM
Report Abuse 		if i wasn't on a medication that is high risk I would so be having a home birth this time around


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