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Birth Plan? Ha!

Sometimes you don't get to choose your options.

Thanks to Sara Wedman

I think every first-time mom has a birth plan. If it isn't actually written down, she at least has some idea of how her labor and delivery are going to happen. Here is what my birth plan looked like: natural labor using a variety of pain-reduction techniques and absolutely no epidural. I was adamant that I wanted to be like the women generations before me and have a drug-free labor.

My plans for birth were thrown out the window my 38th week when my OB informed me that I would be going in that night to have my baby due to medical concerns. This meant what I absolutely didn't want to happen—the dreaded enemy of natural labor: The labor inducing drug pitocin was going to be involved with my labor.

The midwife expected me to be in labor for about 20 hours, so they planned to take me off the pitocin at 6 AM and let me take a shower and eat breakfast. Then they would crank up my dose of pitocin and really let my body go to town on bringing this baby into the world. They also informed me that because of the condition that necessitated the induction in the first place, I was not able to go off the monitor—ever. Well, crap, there went just about every method and technique I had for pain relief in my birth plan.

At this point, I decided to tough it out and see how far I could go without pain meds. Well, like always, my body decided not to follow anyone's plan. I went into active labor only a couple of hours into the induction. After having a contraction that essentially was an hour and a half long (I never got any rest periods between contractions), I caved and asked for the epidural. I thought I had eight more hours of labor similar to what I was already going through and no way was I going to be able to survive that without any relief. I was so disappointed in myself; I felt like a total failure and cried the whole time I was waiting to get the epidural. I had failed at every part of my birth plan.

However, 10 minutes after getting my epidural, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Yeah, I am still bitter that no one checked me out before I made the decision to have an epidural, but that is another story.

I think my birth "plan" actually hindered my labor and delivery. I spent part of my time beating myself up for not living up to my expectations when I should have been ecstatic about my daughter.

So here is my suggestion to first-timers: Throw your birth plans out the window. Realize that in labor and delivery, sometimes you don't get to choose your options. Just be happy you are bringing a new life into the world.

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ndm726
ndm726
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9/30/2009 - 11:51AM
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I'm just trying to get educated about the various methods that could be suggested or forced upon me so that I feel at least a little bit aware of what's happening each time I hit a curve or loop along the way. I have my preferences...but I'm not a very good hypothesizer to how I'll react in any given situation, so I'm just praying we'll all be healthy!
jlm0hr
jlm0hr
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9/27/2009 - 10:38PM
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Thanks for sharing your story!  Something very similar happened to me:  labor was induced with a cervadil tape, my water broke, I labored for 12 hours but things weren't moving along fast enough for the doctors so I was put on pitocin (syntoconin in Canada).  After one big a** 2 hour contraction, I was exhausted and full of adrenaline and anxiety...so I finally asked for an epidural.  10 minutes later I was ready to push!  Later, I read that this often happens with pitocin inductions.  The pitocin puts the birthing mother in such an incredible state of hightened adrenaline, that labor is actually hindered...sort of similar to the 'fight or flight' theory, when a mammal is in a dangerous situation while giving birth, her adrenaline will actually stop the birth process allowing her to find a safer place to continue.  So, essentially the epidural we dreaded ever getting in the first place actually allowed us to relax enough for labor to continue as naturally intended.  I had wanted to have a 'natural birth' but I'm glad I had the epidural in the end.  Next time around I'm just going to do my best to avoid an unnecessary induction...and take the rest as it comes!
vbidez06
vbidez06
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9/2/2009 - 11:14AM
Report Abuse 		My "birth plan" is pretty flexible and mainly just a guideline for various scenarios and things I can control no matter what (like who is in the room).
Yamalia
Yamalia
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9/2/2009 - 10:12AM
Report Abuse 		On my birth plan I put in all caps to leave my son uncircumcized- the only reason he stayed that way is because he was in my room and when the girl came in I freaked out on her. The doctor asks you to make a plan and then no one bothers to look at it- verbal plans work better
gaamy
gaamy
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8/27/2009 - 8:43AM
Report Abuse 		i had a very good experience with the epidural. after my water broke i sat in the hospital for about 8 hrs and NOTHING happened. no pain, no contraction, not even gas pains. after giving me sevearl rounds of cytotech( not sure thats how you spell it). still nothing. Cytotech is a very unpleasant way to iunduce labor, it is a disolvable tablet they place on the rim of your cervix, so basically the root around about there until they get it in the right spot, which even for a skilled practioner can take several minutes. still nothing. finally someone thought to check again and they noticed i had a second bag of water that had not ruptured, they broke that and the horrible pain started imediately. i got the epidural and waited. when they told me it was close i asked that they start to turn down the epidural until i could feel enough to push. i felt EVERY INCH of my daughter being born, but it wasn't mind numbing, make you want to black out pain, and the hours leading up to it were'nt hell. my older sis had terribly painful labors. at one point she said she really felt like she had some parasite in her body and if she did not get it out she would die. when you see your sis pass out from prolonged pain, you take the drugs.
Gavinsmom2be
Gavinsmom2be
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8/16/2009 - 5:14PM
Report Abuse 		My mom had an epidural with me(first born), then with my two siblings she chose not to because she didn't like not feeling contractions. I'm 31 weeks with my first and if all goes the way I want I'm choosing not to get an epidural(unless the pain is that unbearable)because I am the type that wants to at least once know what the pain of natural childbirth feels like. It would be disappointing not to be able to follow my plan but as long as the baby is say I'm happy.
CristalBee
CristalBee
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7/29/2009 - 4:50PM
Report Abuse 		i agree with efaub's question. i think many of us are forgetting that women would DIE giving birth. it's a new age, new technology, embrace it! the option is there for you, epidural or not, but there is absolutely no need to feel guilty about relieving pain...also, i hate to hear that "you know your body, you know what's best" blah blah. those doctors are trained to deliver you a healthy bundle of joy and they went through years of obtaining knowledge to do so. be supermom AFTER you get home from the hospital :)
Dharmasmommy
Dharmasmommy
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7/16/2009 - 10:26AM
Report Abuse 		My birth plan was along the lines of let me eat and give me drugs. They didn't let me eat anything which annoyed me. And it seemed to be forever before the epidural. I'm not ashamed at all to admit I took it. I wanted that needle in the parking lot. And it didn't slow my labor. After the epidural it was something like 4 hours and she was here. I only pushed for like 40 minutes. I did have a walking epirural so I was up for a little bit but I was really exhausted.
efaub
efaub
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7/12/2009 - 5:27PM
Report Abuse 		What is the deal with people not wanting an epidural? Just because generations before us didn't have them doesn't make you less of a woman if you have one. What in the world kind of crazy logic is that? People before us didn't have anesthesia but no one today would undergo major surgery without it. Epidurals are more common than not. Here is my birth plan: Get to the hospital as soon as possible, ask for an epidural.
IRONMOM
IRONMOM
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6/8/2009 - 2:44PM
Report Abuse 		Three years ago I was a newbie too and had my SUPER BIRTH PLAN that included water birth, no epidurals and breastfeeding all the way until my daughter was a year... HA.HA. At 38 weeks I had a C-section, of course epidural with all the drugs that come with that (and feeling miserable after they took them away the second day!) and a mastitis just when I arrived home with my little bundle of joy. I can't explain exactly how dissapointing, frustrating and depressing was feeling that I couldn't complete my Birth Plan, I felt I was a horrible mom... I guess birth plans should come with a Birth Plan B: the one that is completely the opposite. We never get mentally and emotionally prepared to overcome that frustration. Now, with my second child, I truly don't have a birth plan... I would love to be a natural birth and support with La Leche League, but if it is again a c-section and everything in between, I'll just thank god that my baby boy is healthy and try to have fun in the process...
itoshii_na_koi
itoshii_na_koi
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3/26/2009 - 9:23PM
Report Abuse 		Thank you for sharing your story, many of my friends have had "problems" arise and you are all right no amount of planning can "make" the baby come the way you want.
MrsK1986
MrsK1986
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2/8/2009 - 12:41PM
Report Abuse 		I have a birth plan and it has ALL pain relief on it lol. I don't want an epidural but I want the option there just incase I decide to have it. It won't make me feel like a failure if I do have one but I would rather not. I want to be walking around as much as possible during my birth and I don't want to be stuck to monitors all the time but if it happens, it happens. My birth plan is for the best case senario but it will be flexible and changable at short notice.
pregnantmomof3
pregnantmomof3
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1/2/2009 - 12:34PM
Report Abuse 		i knew i wanted the epidural and do not feel bad AT ALL for getting it. i do NOT feel like a failure in any way, shape or form :o). i never did a birth plan as far as typing one up and going into great detail just b/c when you are in that moment you have NO clue what's going to happen and you can have whatever you want to typed up that don't mean one thing to your body or that baby, LOL. go with the flow and decide in that moment what you want to happen. it's good to go in with an expectation BUT just know that you can expect what you want to that doesn't mean that's what's going to happen, LOL. you get so caught up on following what your paper says that (like you said) can actually hinder your actual labor and delivery. congrats on a healthy baby!!
aourada
aourada
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1/2/2009 - 12:23PM
Report Abuse 		Thanks for the helpful advice! That's one less thing to worry about for me. Congrats on your baby girl!
danip
danip
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11/30/2008 - 9:49PM
Report Abuse 		You're so right. After 1 long labour and 1 exceedingly short labour, this time I@ve decided it's happening as and when and where it wants to!!! I too spent a very long time beating myself up about how things didn't go to plan, and ended up on anti-depressants because of it. I have now accepted I can't change what happened, and hope that this time I@ll let things happen as they want to. I'd not planned on having more children, but feel like this is the time to (hopefully) put my mind at rest and enjoy what is happening to me. This time I have two gorgeous girls to help me!
Cherbib
Cherbib
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9/7/2008 - 5:50PM
Report Abuse 		I agree. Bring that baby in any way you possibly can .. they will never know the difference, so leave your ego at home.
Anshin
Anshin
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7/25/2008 - 4:12PM
Report Abuse 		Your story sounds just like mine, except my daughter didn't tolerate the induced contractions and I ended up with a c-section, the epidural didn't work so they had to knock me out, so no one saw the birth except the doctors :( - so much for all natural.
jlt79
jlt79
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7/25/2008 - 3:09PM
Report Abuse 		You can't pick your labor just like you can't pick the baby you're going to get- motherhood is full of surprises, enjoy!
veggiekayak
veggiekayak
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7/24/2008 - 6:46AM
Report Abuse 		Having a bith plan is the best thing an expecing mother can have, providing it's based on as much information you can gather and knowing that even a simple plan like going to the supermarket can change. Too easily we fall into the trap of believing that someone else knows best for our well being and this isn't always the case. I have read many articles on births that have been controlled in favour of making it easier for medical staff. My plan is - I'm sticking to my guns this time!
just_curious
just_curious
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6/21/2008 - 8:29PM
Report Abuse 		I had a birth plan and it actually worked with my first. Now that I'm pregnant with my second I'm sure it's going to be much more difficult to follow because I have to care for my little girl and deal with the pain of labor and getting to the hospital. My advice on all things parenting is pretty much - DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU - and that's what I'd say about a birth plan.


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