Picture (Not So) Perfect

OK, let's admit it: newborn babies are ugly.

Thanks to Deva Dalporto

My friend—let's call her Karen—just sent me a picture of her newborn, and all I can say is, "Wow! That kid is hideous!" With his cone-shaped head, baby acne and puffy eyelids, he isn't winning any Gap baby model contests.

And yet, for some reason, parents everywhere insist on sending out photos of their splotchy bundles of joy to everyone in their Yahoo address book within hours of delivery. Come on, wait a few weeks! I mean, does anyone really think newborns are cute? Or do we all know they are U-G-L-Y and etiquette simply requires us to gush and keep our real opinions to ourselves?

I know I have to reply to Karen's email with an overly emotive "OH MY GOD! He's sooooo adorable! :)" or I will seem like a terrible person. But what if I were brutally honest? What if I just said, "Yuck! He's really fugly looking right now. I'm sure he'll be cute in a few months. Why don't you send me a picture then?"

Comments

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j_mitchell Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 9/10/2009 - 8:35PM Report Abuse	I know exactly how you feel, im 7 weeks pregnant with mine and my husbands first baby and he left this morning to go to germany..he's in the military, thank god he'll only be gone for 4 months..
MommyMeYea Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 9/10/2009 - 4:41PM Report Abuse	Hi, I am 20 and I have two kids, Joslyn is 2 1/2 and Lexi is 7 months.
Rosiemama Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 8/26/2009 - 10:42AM Report Abuse	Wow. What a piece of work you are. So there may be some "flaws" but every baby is beautiful...I hate to think what you would say about a baby born with a cleft palate or anything like that. I feel bad for your children. Maybe you should change your name from Deva to Diva.
efaub Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 8/15/2009 - 3:35PM Report Abuse	This is so ridiculous. I know that newborn babies don't look perfect, but they are so amazingly sweet. No one expects them to look flawless, but I for one want pictures sent to me as soon as a friend has a baby. And I will send pictures out of my girl as soon as she arrives to friends and family. There's never been an ugly newborn, you big jerk.
FaithfulMaryam Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 8/14/2009 - 11:26AM Report Abuse	All newborns are cute, especially in the eyes of his/her lovers. And especially when you think of them as little angels from God. It's of course my idea, which I had since many years ago.
Purpledayz Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 6/18/2009 - 4:18PM Report Abuse	LOL! I think that's HILARIOUS! There is nothing wrong with expressing (or venting) your feelings about this subject here. Hopefully, this is the only outlet you need... I definitely wouldn't think you'd really say that to the new mom...or would you? Haha!
haley10384 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 6/2/2009 - 3:00PM Report Abuse	All newborns look different and are a lot of work to have. Not to mention most of us mommies are drugged up, out of strength, energy and breath. We probably can't see clearly. Lol. It doesn't matter!! They are still our babies and they are beautiful to us. Consider where they have been for nine months and where they came from! I think they all look pretty great when you consider those things. Lol. It's all part of the miracle.
youngmom21 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 6/2/2009 - 11:20AM Report Abuse	My son never had the cone head thing. There were no complications and all the tests and everything with him came back excellent. He was gorgeous when he was born and he still is. To me, every baby is beautiful. Everybody is different and I definitely think you should keep those nasty words of yours to yourself. If you can't say anything nice, you shouldn't say anything at all.
ElleY74 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/17/2009 - 12:00PM Report Abuse	I think you are an example of what is wrong with the world today. Someone elses wonderful news and you cannot see past your own media hyped misconceptions of the world. This moment is about 'Karen' and her new or growing family and she wants to share the joy and wonderful love that she feels right now. Youve heard of spreading the love right? Anyway id rather look a real baby with all the natural and NORMAL things you describe as difigurements rather than some pretend airbrushed ideal created by people who must be really glad that photographs do not expose the soul. Because by god if they ever do I suggest you never show anyone your photograph!
covenmother Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/15/2009 - 8:39AM Report Abuse	Some newborns stay rather red for a while but others look better quickly. Ive seen some really adorable six day old babies ^_^
CrystalRicard Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/11/2009 - 9:02PM Report Abuse	Newborns are all a little scary and very similar looking for the first few weeks. Cute none the less but after nine months in fluid your skin would be a little weird to, as would your eyes. As for the mis-shapen head, your friend did push that little one out of her vagina so the baby's head would have to adjust to fit through, luckily baby's skull is still very soft and will return to the regualr roundness in a few days-weeks. Just tell her how happy and proud of her your are and I'm sure that's all she's looking for.
Nickys1sun Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/9/2009 - 6:13PM Report Abuse	No matter what a baby looks like to others, they are perfect to the mother because that child is a part of them. Never tell sumone that their child is ugly just wish them the best w/ their new arrival. Speakin from experience, givin birth & motherhood is a challenge & the more encouragement U get the better U feel.
brittanyh1804 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 4/20/2009 - 1:03PM Report Abuse	My son had the ultimate cone head. he looked like a little old man, but none the less still my baby. After a few days he was an adorable little newborn.
Dharmasmommy Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 1/19/2009 - 3:06PM Report Abuse	My daughter had hairy ears lol and those weird alien extremities but within a week she started to look human. My nephews all looked like old men, the oldest one for months.
KristenMelissa85 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 1/18/2009 - 5:59PM Report Abuse	just say congrats. the parents don't care if the baby has a bump on its head or if its face is wrinkly, they just want to show their new baby to the friends and family who are important to them. I texted newborn pictures of both my daughters to people from the hospital.
prittimama Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 1/15/2009 - 9:51AM Report Abuse	lol.......i sent my newborn's pix back to the hospital. i refused to pay for such hideous pictures. man those things were atrocious!! there's nothing he could ever do to make me want to embarrass him by showing anyone those things.
jasminmattia Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 1/13/2009 - 9:15PM Report Abuse	hahaa, newborns ARE fairly ugly in my opinion... I also get tired of hearing who the baby looks like when he first comes out. As if you can tell he's got his dads eyes when he's barely even opened them!! However, I'm due in a week, so I might change my tune when mine comes out... it's so much different when it's your own (so I'm told). However, even if I think my newborn is the cutest little thing to grace the earth, I'll still wait a couple weeks to send everyone photos just because I know how it feels to RECEIVE those photos and have to keep your opinions to yourself to avoid hurting peoples' feelings
mommynm Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 8/17/2008 - 9:06PM Report Abuse	I know newborns can look quite funny, so I wasn't expecting mine to look like a perfect doll with her hat on (conehead). What people noticed in the photos my husband chose to rush out was it looked like I got the hell beat of me.
NyssaRetter Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 8/5/2008 - 9:47PM Report Abuse	It's true, most newborns are pretty gross, but I think the point of sending out pictures right away is like saying, "Look what I just made!!" Pregnancy is a lot of work, and when you're finally done with it, and you've delivered your little slimy bundle, you want to show it off.
TiffanyBarton84 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 7/28/2008 - 7:17PM Report Abuse	My oldest was the most beautiful baby ive ever seen. My youngest was kinda funky looking lol. Hes as handsome as can be now though.