Pregnant Pause

I admit it: The thought of giving birth terrifies me.

I am not ready to give birth. For a while, my sister and I were both pregnant at the same time. I am 28 weeks along now and she gave birth back in January. Like me, she was also pregnant with her first child. But her experience was totally different.

I am ready for motherhood. I've been playing the part of mother to three children that belong to a friend of mine. They are 1, 4 and 6 years old. I have a beautiful stepson whom I love dearly. But I am simply not ready to give birth.

I am scared of the pain and all. I know many will say that it's not that bad if I opt for medication. But no one seems to understand that I just can't picture myself pushing out some 8-pound baby!

My sister is no help. She was one of those pregnant women who thought the world was always marvelous and that pregnancy was wonderful and that giving birth was so easy and simple. She even boasted about going out to the supermarket four days after giving birth! Whatever she was taking while pregnant she needs to bottle it and sell it.

I know there have to be other pregnant women out there who understand that sometimes you just can't get up and you get these shocks of pain from your heavy belly which lead to fears about giving birth. What doesn't help is that my mom had postpartum depression after having me, so that worries me too, as does my brother's cerebral palsy. What's also making me crazy is that my husband is getting deployed right around my due date. I have a lot on my plate and I'm not sure what birth plan is right for me since I know I don't want to give birth. Can't someone just orb the baby out of me? It would help a lot.

Comments

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pamulathegreat Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 10/21/2009 - 11:51AM Report Abuse	i have THE WORST craps! and iam not even big yet! iam only 9 weeks and i sware its the most painful crap! and iam also scared as hell about giving birth! i dont want the meds! so that make it worst i just hope by time iam due someone events magic ways to just POP the baby out without me even taking my clothes off lol =]
trigar505 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 9/18/2009 - 1:09AM Report Abuse	I am 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I am terrified first of all it took me 13 years to get pregnant I had already told myself that I was never going to be a mom and now that its happening I just cant believe it I really hate to say this but I just keep thinking something bad is going to happen I already love this baby with everything that I have and I am so greatful but still really terrified...
thomasmommyxoxo Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 9/16/2009 - 2:41PM Report Abuse	thats what i want..i dont want to go through all the pain i just want my baby!
lughsmomma Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 9/16/2009 - 2:36PM Report Abuse	my man is also deploying a few months after the baby is born.. you are not the only one.. hope that makes you feel better. on the bright side you will have company while he is gone, and a part of him.
brolyx Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 7/13/2009 - 2:05PM Report Abuse	This is my third baby and you would think I am ready and set and all that good stuff. You never lose the fear however. I'm scared my husband is scared (but won't admit it lol) it's just a scary experience. I have never had a terrible birth the other two were long (and I mean very very very 32 hours and 17) but they were still scary. It will all be good after the fact however. Don't stress it to much :-)
MissKatie86 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 7/11/2009 - 8:24PM Report Abuse	I am terrified. You are obviously not alone here. I think every woman is scared at the idea of pushing a person thru their hoo-ha. The best advice I can offer is to be as educated as possible and try to remember that your body was built for it. My husband will also be deployed when I deliver our first child, so I feel ya there. Just try to focus on the amazing feat you have accomplished already and enjoy your new baby. Good luck!!
SeanzWife07 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 6/1/2009 - 8:19PM Report Abuse	I'm having my first baby too. Its scary. The thought of it all happening, not knowing what to do, THE PAIN, suffering! Lol, its alot to swallow. I'm going to try and go all natural. Lets see if it happens. If the pain is too much, then I really wont torture myself if there is something to help. But my sister has 4 kids, 2 of them being twins, all under the age of 6. She has a handful. I was in the room when she had her last baby. And i almost passed out! So, i dont know how I'm going to survive my own babies birth if i cant even watch my neice's birth. any questions, just write on my board.
Brooke242 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/31/2009 - 11:44AM Report Abuse	I also am having my first child and VERY VERY terrified about giving birth. I can't sleep at nite thinking about it!!
Dominique123456 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/27/2009 - 2:44PM Report Abuse	I'm so glad you wrote this - it's exactly how I feel too. I'm hoping to get a planned c-section but will have to wait and see!
Yocheved Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/13/2009 - 4:18PM Report Abuse	marisonyi girl you are not alone, ia ma terrified, and i'll tell you why,i have a heart condition i had open heart surgery as a child and i feel something might go wrong when ia m giving birth and it saddens me because i have these thoughts that i die, and it scares me, i have recently been to the emengency waiting room, and i heard how this lady was just screaming so loud giving birth it just broke my heart i held back the tears and i prayed that G-d would help her,but i know you are strong and G-d will help you through this jsut pray to G-d,remember you are stronger than what you think, there is always the caesarian, my friend had one because she was scared of childbirth, just the recuperation is longer than natural birth,my friend just had a baby less than 3 months ago and she says it's just the contractions that hurt not the actual birth, just practice your breathing, and there are women that have their babies so fast like in 30 minutes after contractions start, hopefully you will be one of these and you'll be just fine, you'll be in my prayers,try to exercise regularly, I am due in late November, hope everything goes well for you, at least you are in the US you should see how they treat women here in Nicaragua, it's BAD! when you look at your baby for the first time you will know it was worth all the pain and it will be finally over, Mazel Tov,...Yocheved
peapie32 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 5/4/2009 - 10:35PM Report Abuse	I have to admit with my first I was ready for it all through the pregnancy, but the morning that they were going to break my water I freaked out & actually packed my stuff and tried to leave the hospital! I'm not going to pretend it wasn't painful and scary, but it is also the most wonderful experience in the world! Good luck!
RefinnejEaner85 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 4/23/2009 - 6:46PM Report Abuse	I was four years old when I watched my cousin have her daughter back in 1989. My mom with held nothing from me. I then watched her give birth to her third child when I was in middle school. It looked painful but to be perfectly honest even going through the pain of labor...(I was induced and ended up with a c-section)it all happens so fast and your so happy to be a mother it's all worth it. I always think the absolute wost...so when its bad and not horrable I'm just glad for that. Even though that I am going in for a third c-section in June and know the pain and long recovery that awaits me I still will go through it to have another baby. Try to relax and have positive thoughts and an open mind going in. Once its all over and your holding your new baby nothing else will matter.
cjlutz1030 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 4/22/2009 - 4:34PM Report Abuse	I am with you...and after I went the childbirthing class and had to watch a video of both options, be they a natural vaginal birth or a c-section, i am more terrified than before! There is no good option here. My husband, who has been incredibly sweet and supportive thru out the pregnancy so far doesn't seem to comprehend how horrifying the thought is. I'm 35 weeks now and to the point where the point where i think my baby can stay in there forever, let him grow and be 18 in there for all i care...i'll piggy back on him.
DorenaSpring Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 4/14/2009 - 4:18PM Report Abuse	I developed gestational diabetes so my little girl has grown so much at 34 wks she weighs 6.2 lbs. I am terrified of c section however due to her size I don't think I am going to have a choice the dr said if carried her 3 more wks she will weigh between 8-9lbs or carry her 5 more wks she will be 10-11 and noway I can deliver her. I am so nervous and scared.
mrsharper2009 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 2/10/2009 - 12:40PM Report Abuse	I feel the same way! At first i thought I was just going to do the whole natural water birth thing, but as its getting closer to my due date and watching what actually goes on down there while pushing a baby out im not so sure i can do it! But i have to keep telling myself that when its all over, it will all be worth it!
prittimama Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 2/5/2009 - 3:22PM Report Abuse	youll be ready after youve been pregnant for almost a year. at the very end youre like GET THIS BABY OUT by any means necessary and that outweighs the fear.
anahernandez04 Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 1/21/2009 - 11:59AM Report Abuse	I know excatly how you feel. I will have my secound baby anytime next month. And as much as i want this baby out allready i am not ready. i am ready to be a mom again but not for he pain. everybody tells me that i should not be scared becuase i have gone throught everything all ready, but iam scared. i aslo knwo how you feel about yoyur husband being deployed around your due date. when i found out i was pergnant i was so happy and weeks later we found out that my husband was being sent to the state of Nebraska to work and we live in California. i thought i was going to go into soem kind of depression or something but i had the help of my freinds to not think about it that much. i live with my parents and my mom has been i great help for me in taking care of my 2 year old right now but i still miss my husband like crazy. i know it''s not the same having him away working as having him deployed, but all you have to do is pray and i bet everything is going to be fine. and about the labor pain. the worst part is the pain, but the pusshing part is not that bad. have you thought about pian medication? if you have not i will recommend you to start thinking about it. but just relax and dont think to much about it, just think that the harder you push the faster your baby will be out and in your arms. wish you teh best and good luck with everything.
MommaPeach Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 12/2/2008 - 12:12PM Report Abuse	I am 17 weeks pregnant and scared out of my mind to give birth, like the actual act of giving birth. The whole thing petrifies me too, I'll be around a bunch of people I don't know and I will feel bad because well, I might swear... a lot. Ugh, the whole thing is disturbing. I like the idea of orbing the baby out of me....
fwiwkis Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 11/3/2008 - 2:53PM Report Abuse	a deployment... if my husband was to be deployed around the time i was due i probably wouldn't want to give birth either. he's in the army and we're currently stationed in germany. it can be a stressful time, especially both at the same time!! you don’t need to worry though :) you'll do great! the doctors here seem to be very helpful with everything, and there are many support groups. i'm sure you're location has them too :) you wont be alone during it and just think of all the stuff you get to write to your husband about, just be sure to have a video camera so when he comes back he doesn’t miss anything!! :)
GetIntheCar Send a Note Send a Gift Write on ME page 10/29/2008 - 6:37PM Report Abuse	Doctors these days don't typically force patients to give birth in ways they don't want unless it is for the health and safety of the baby and/or mother. I have given birth in a whirlpool, labored on therapy balls and given birth while squatting - all in a clinical hospital setting with an MD there to care for me and my child. If I had had a homebirth with my last son he would have died. If he had not been rushed immediately to the NICU for respitory distress he would not have made it. Doctors and nursing staff are there to help you, minimize your pain, and ensure a positive outcome for you and your baby.