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A Pregnant Vocabulary

When the meconium hits the fan...

Thanks to Vanessa Antoine

Pregnancy enlightened me and my husband to a whole new vocabulary that people who have never been through a pregnancy probably know nothing about. Along with laughable VHS films of women in oversized, rose-tinted glasses giving birth to children who are now in their twenties, our birthing classes were chockfull of new words, such as perineum, episiotomy, Kegel, placenta and more. Scary as most of those words seemed, there was one word my husband and I absolutely took advantage of: meconium.

For those of you who don't know, meconium is the medical term for a newborn's poop. Not big cursers, my husband and I used this word to no end. Our conversations usually included sentences like "I feel like meconium today" or "I had a real meconiumitty day" or "I'll be back. I have to take a meconium."

Pregnancy, with all its quirky surprises, offers an education you can't find at any university. In fact, pregnancy is a university all its own. Pregnant women and future daddies will be educated in Breathing 101, Pushing for Beginners, Focusing on Happy Places 101 and my personal favorite, Pregnancy Terminology. Yes, pregnancy offers quite the education, but parents-to-be take heed: While you can eventually pay off student loans, you'll be paying for this meconium for the rest of your life.

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jewelxkitty
jewelxkitty
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7/15/2009 - 11:27PM
Report Abuse 		haha that's funny.
Muma2b
Muma2b
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6/21/2009 - 9:44PM
Report Abuse 		Thanks for the tip:)
roundtwo
roundtwo
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6/21/2009 - 9:42PM
Report Abuse 		this was too funny!! thanx this put a smile on my face =)
TLMD727618
TLMD727618
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3/13/2009 - 4:56PM
Report Abuse 		Thanks so much!!! This really made me laugh! I needed it! Now to get prepared for all this meconium!!!! lol
1231angel
1231angel
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2/18/2009 - 2:16PM
Report Abuse 		HI! Your son is SOOO CUUUUTTTEEE!!!
emmas_mummy
emmas_mummy
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1/30/2009 - 8:42PM
Report Abuse 		lmao!! oh and beeweemomma - it is sticky, best thing is to put a little olive oil on babies bottom before putting the nappy/diaper on. that way it doesnt stick to the skin and is easier to clean off :)
beeweemomma
beeweemomma
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1/22/2009 - 2:42PM
Report Abuse 		I almost peed my pants laughing! Just wail 'til the baby comes and you learn a whole NEW set of words- good luck getting all that meconium off- no one tells you how sticky it is!
mommy2leilani09
mommy2leilani09
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10/21/2008 - 3:38AM
Report Abuse 		thanx this was funny and makes me wanna break out the dictionary and start defining words most commonly used during pregnancy...
Valentine
Valentine
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8/30/2008 - 1:06AM
Report Abuse 		Oh this made me laugh so hard! Thanks!
mamamia
mamamia
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7/29/2008 - 9:44PM
Report Abuse 		funny.
Flaca
Flaca
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7/28/2008 - 2:36PM
Report Abuse 		This is hilarious!


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